June has given me a lot of historical moments. I finished my course in Japanese History (sigh, I’ll miss it so much!) and I visited Lund Historian Day and the Medieval Market. When summer comes to this university town you would imagine it would be very sleepy. When the term is over and students leave for summer holidays, not to return until September, everything should go into hibernation. But not anymore. The summer is filled with activities and I look forward to participate much more than last summer when we still was in the midst of a pandemic and I had just moved across the country…
From the moment I moved here I’ve been taking long walks to get to know this town. It is not huge, as I’m sure you have realized already, but never the less I seem to wander the same route with few or short misguided de-tours. And then sometimes I just decide to get lost randomly. To discover new blocks and houses, new parks and gardens and sometimes turn around in horror and walk back!
But ever since I moved here I have been in love with a few very particular houses. Las week I had the opportunity to visit a flat in one of these, and I was actually in line to rent it, but decided no. It would take too much of my savings at the moment (early access and three months double rent) so I let my practical head decide and say no. But ever since I have had a small hole in my heart…I´m hoping something similar will come up in a year or two, but for some reason turning down this flat has made me think about what I really want in life and what my heart needs to do before it is too late. I have no reason, as far as I know, to think about death – I’ve been lucky to be healthy compared to so many people around me, and my minor issues are not life threatening. No one has died from knee arthritis I think. But never the less I’m reminded that choices can’t be put on hold forever anymore. I miss having a cat, but can I really take on a pet that may survive me? And if I take on an older pet, who would look after it if I start to travel again? And do I want to travel again? Or is it just something I imagined I wanted to do that I’m holding on to even though the world and me has changed priorities? And what are my priorities anyway? So many questions, and not enough time?
Maybe it’s enough to just be. And enjoy.