Pain is a bitch


I´m in pain. Literally. Arthritis in my knees, and now recently in my feet is making every step I take a struggle. I do know its not something that is going to kill me, and I also know I’m having a bad period and it will hopefully get better – but constant pain is a bitch.

My energy is drained and after work (and some days I have to walk a lot) I just collapse on the couch, check my computer and after a few hours I go to sleep. I have no energy to do things that actually makes me happy – like writing. And socializing? God forbid. I just want to crawl up on my bed and be left alone.

But it will be better, and meanwhile I’m struggling not to do online-shopping to comfort myself, because´s something I CAN do and 2. I know I will have terrible regrets later!

I don´t usually feel sorry for myself, because I’m mostly a very lucky person, but recently at the physiotherapist I felt my eyes tearing up as I realized this may be a curveball that I haven’t expected. I WANT to travel and enjoy life, but if my feet can’t carry me, how will I do that? I have to cling to the hope that this will get better over time at least for periods.

I am exercising three times a week at the gym and I do my physiotherapy every day, so I’m not giving up!


Recently I was on a two-day conference with work to Sigtuna and Sigtunastiftelsen where I took these photos. Its a really beautiful and serene place, very Italian in style, and even though I struggle with the spiritual Christian feel about the place (I am after all an atheist in my heart and soul) I must say it is very beautiful and relaxing. I would definitely consider it for a writing holiday.


Sigtuna is a small township north of Stockholm and you can easily reach it by commuter train from the Inner city. The commuter station is in Märsta, a concrete suburb but don’t let that scare you. Sigtuna is a 15minute bus-ride from the station and a very quaint village town with lots of wooden villas. And with sea views.

Sigtunastiftelsen was built by liberal forces within the Swedish Lutheran Church at the beginning of the 1900 (at the end of the firstWorld War), and the thought was to create a space for discussion between the church and the up and coming labour-movement. It also played a big part in the art community and is a popular place for writers retreats and lectures. If you need a place to rest your thoughts and want a place to stay away from the hustle and bustle, this may very well be your place as it is also used as a hotel and conference centre. Just be clear that there are no television sets in the rooms, there are however television-rooms:)) so nothing to distract you from your thoughts. The food was really nice and the breakfast-buffet in the morning was rather lavish!


I am already thinking about going there next year for a writing weekend to spark my writing again, it would be a perfect place to get going again. All the little nooks and crannies make perfect spots for talking, thinking, reading and writing!